The World Rainbow Gathering in Turkey - 2022

I had aligned myself with a lot of rainbows in these years and i always liked them because they were filled with adventures. It were small gatherings where all sorts of weird behavioural patterns and strange views were present. You could test your comfort zone and test out your identity as you interacted with them. And there was no shortage of people who were willing to love beyond social standards. Every boundary was tested and every night there were so many emotional outbursts and lovers that it could make you sick. Life is what you make of it. After ten small rainbows, i have had the privilege to see how you could spend your life, engaged with your hobbies hopefully without sorrow. A rainbow was a cultural hub of hobbies. All kinds passed you by as you find yourself taking a stroll. I use this space to develop an awareness towards my habits and integrate with the meaning of their existence. And while i was exploring, i met and stayed in contact with amazing characters that shared my interests and they became family to me. One of those boys came one day in my hometown to visit me. He was on route to three rainbows in the east and he asked me to join. His name was Sun. The same Sun that I met in Mersin with Demian and then later in Albania. He accompanied a boy called Moon and they travelled in his van. When i introduced myself to Moon, he stated that we knew eachother from a rainbow three years ago, and so the story started. After a few days with me in Enschede they left to go to the east and I made plans to go, when the world allowed me, to the third rainbow that they had planned.  This was the World Gathering in Turkey. i had never been to a World Gathering before. I heard that it was big and messy. On the small rainbows you might develop a family feeling with everyone present but the World Gathering would count 2000 heads and the energy to talk to everyone of them and create deeper friendships with all would be very hard to maintain. There were to be more Private groups and more distance between people. It would be a challenge to see and it would be very interesting how this large group would exist. Two months passed in Enschede and i had finally concluded my business. It was about time to see my friends again. It would surely not be an easy job, to guide 2000 souls to harmony and I wanted to not only see how the rainbow would handle itself but also to give it some help. I knew there was a lot of neglection everywhere and people were afraid. I wanted to help the rainbow and teach myself the language of connection; with everyone and everything. 

 If we align with more and more integrity to our own emotions, we become more and more aware of the magical opportunity to have relatable connections with everyone without giving up the slow steady rhythm that builds our character. 


we will become a painting ourselves 
we will linger in the vibrational match of our future
and we will have empathy for all of our addictions

A girl called Moana introduced herself to me and i felt a power eminating from her. She was quite small but she tied her hair in braids and wore her clothes in such a fashion that you had the feeling that she was the one that was taller and far more experienced than you.  The trivial upstearing of knowledge or the dooming presence of façades were childish play compared to the way Moana presented herself.  In the first few days I didn't see her smile. It looked as if she was watching over her tribe; silently and with accurate description. She was just one of the many who caught my eye. In the sum of days, I had met and shook the hands and hugged many countless indiviuals who all came here with just one reason: To escape the monotone cities of death. Here, they could lay down their guard and come to life. For many of the people, this was the only wish they could ask for. For some more experienced rainbow goers there was the occasional hook up and romantic get-away. But noone could argue that the rainbow was a gathering place of love. Not everyone was accustomed to it: The newcomers would hide in bushes and be ashamed of it. They came in contact with something that was not ofted experienced and therefore, they observed for the first few days with gentle curiosity and shame that they actually like what they see untill they eased their way in the new normal. There was one girl who seemed lost. I had not spoken to her but I came in contact with her smile sometimes. It was a pleasant and very attractive girl for me and I woke up one day and decided to hang out with her. I was a bit scared at this point that I objectifed her but as I had observed her and knew her patterns a little bit, I introduced myself and felt at ease that I didn't want to focus on getting inside her panties. I just had to make her feel home. I reacted on her humor with vigor and abandoned all common sense. She spoke very little english and she was giddy almost all the time. She tried so hard to connect and I found that we had a similiar kind of need for attention. 

I presented myself as someone who did not have high standards when I interacted with her and surprisingly I loved the idea. I felt released from the expectations to succeed and find. It was quite honorable and I silently thanked her that she reminded me that I was here to enjoy any conversation or person that wanted my presence. Later, I hugged her from behind at night and whispered that I wanted to kiss her as we enjoyed each other's company. She wanted it too. The rainbow was a gathering place of people who were unsure if they were rightfully alive. Most of us came to the rainbow because we suffered from loneliness and we had a feint hope that there could be someone who would poetically desire us and give us a feeling of belonging. And it did not matter in which feeling or emotion we believed or went through, because these persons that we would find could see solice and redemption and meaning in the state of being that we choose. Sometimes, individuals forget how powerful they are. They gave power to outside forces and it is a slow process to let them remember how they extract their own inner power when no one is watching and teach them how they could do the same when they are surrounded by staring and curious strangers. It is the journey of becoming one with your body. 

 I met a man who claimed to be a firekeeper of the rainbow tribe. At first I was afraid to form a connection with him, İ could see how the role that he had given himself was heavy and perfect in his eyes. He loved his own role and he found complete pleasure in keeping the fire holy. He reminded me of myself when, at certain points, İ viewed my storytelling gift as all important. He had a stick and every night he would make sure that the gathered people around the fire would take of their shoes, respect the flames and put wood inside that was perfect. Some of the people were scared of him and İ couldn't blame them. His attitude towards his job was professional and personal. İ observed him over the days and nights and the bond that he felt with his responsibility was extended far beyond pitty personal fear of rejection. He molded completely with his own rapture and vulnerable emotion. He inspired me with the dignity in which he praised the human body to serve. İt seemed that the World Rainbow Gathering attracted these humans who lived decades in the name of beautified bewilderment and gave their talents without thought to the greater good of the Rainbow. At the end of the month, İ had become a friend of his and İ could see that he was aware that some people had been scared of him and it broke his heart. He wanted nothing more than a place among friends where he was accepted. İ had become more and more intrigued as İ ventured further into these desires that were also within me. İt was unbelievable to acknowledge that these desires could be finding their destinations. And by wandering around on a World Rainbow Gathering İ began to believe, that life could be a gift for those that seek redemption. It just takes courage to say that you found it and that you have claimed it long ago. We are often not giving ourselves praise for things that we accomplished. As I give space to the people around me to search for freedom all by themselves I am confronted by the fact that not all people can search for it all by themselves, some need a little push to ascertain certain frequencies within themselves that they did not believe were there. When I was outside of the rainbow for a few days I got a text message from my mom. She gave me the news that the best friend of my little brother had committed suicide. She was 20 years old. In a moment of sadness she hung herself in her sleeping room. Some people live in solitude for so long that they cannot find the sunrays anymore. I found a girlfriend somewhere among these people. Her name and posture reminded me of a dark skinned fairytale princess. She was tiny and loudmouthed when she needed to. Knowingly searching for a type of redemption that she could reckognize. We found in eachother a piece of the puzzle that could lead us. I asked for a kiss in exchange for the poem I gave her and she would think about it. We kissed the following day and learned to  embrace eachother in the woods. Sometimes, when we were in the midst of our sexual pleasure, I could see the girl who commited suicide reflected in her face. Life and Death seemed to be playing with our experience and they asked for redemption in a secure place of  gratittude. After two weeks she broke up with me because she loved me too much and I didn't give her the space she deserved. Time was different when you walk the rainbow path and it seemed that our feelings had risen and fallen together with the breath of the forest around us. There was a magical essence on every rainbow that made time stop. And every individual now had the delighted opportunity to form a deeper connection with the part of themselves that had no connection or relation to time. Time did not really abondon us but it was this feeling of relentless fortitude that left us. The ticking of the clock had less control over us and instead we could form a bond with the time that exists only out on the sea. The motion of rippling water bubbled to the surface and we moved in harmony with its waves. This form of time was hidden in the air and it was an essence of the present. We all had the beautiful awareness that life was much more simple and harsh than society wanted us to believe: Life was more organically constructed. And through all ordeals, we could hold hands with this magic and let ourselves be washed by it.

There was a girl called Sea inbetween this ordeal of time that saved my life a couple of times. At moments when my mind would fail to grasp the emotion that ran underneath the grounds, Sea would be there, to save me from my own questions. She and I would go on trips and our common view on the intellect of love would make us laugh and wander in eachothers arms, to forgive all what has been before. She was there when I heard about the suicide and she was the one who felt every small intuitive gesture of vulnerability that my heart gave to me. Sometimes, when we want to process an experience, it cannot be processed by us alone, it has to be shared. But who is there to share it with? who is there who can carry the emotional release that we crave for? Or could feel the disturbance in my energy field when I got the text message and without knowing, gave me small nuances of her acceptance of me. And the way she accepted me was beautiful. It was a tender forgiveness, and acceptance of all what had been before. 

Time was wandering through this time with Fire in her hands and I could visit her. We came to the gathering together with Hir and he became a part of the council while Time was more focused on her inner journey that brought her closer and closer to the past. There were many couples who came to the rainbow lands, seeking guidance and help to overcome the problems and miscommunications between men and women. There were many of us who wanted to redeem themselves in front of their loved ones and they didn't posses the mindset and the vocabulary to feel their power. Many of us were believing in the magic of the sea but couldn't yet swim in its currents. The ticking of the clock distracted us and it took some time to understand the world without fear. 

One of the concepts of every rainbow is the talking circle. A circle is formed with participants who are gathering together because of their interest in the same topic. Every talking circle has a single topic and the ones who feel commited to this topic can join the circle, that is build specifically to hold space for this one topic to be examined and discussed. The talking circle can go on for ages and the participants can join and leave whenever, in this period of time. The rules are simple. A material symbol of peace is introduced to the group. This can be a stick or a stone or whatever you choose. This symbol is being passed round the circle over time. Whoever receives the symbol can talk and express themselves in regard to the topic that has been chosen. We all know the topic because the initiator had shouted this topic very loud across the rainbow and we all gathered from far away to meet him and sit down with him. When someone passes the symbol, it means that she said everything she wanted to say and she gives the turn to the next one. This goes on untill we are all tired of the topic or the ceremony begins that concludes the end of any talking circle. This ceremony is very simple. At any moment, someone can decide that they want the circle to end. At this moment, they can offer the suggestion that the symbol will be passed round the circle in silence. Nobody speaks. And if the symbol returns thus to the person that had offered this suggestion, the circle ends and everyone can go on with their lives. Some of these circles can take days but this is very rare. The most normal talking circles last between two and three hours. So you better bring a pillow and some tea. We try to acknowledge the sacredness of this act of speaking but most of the circles are messy and inconsistant. I forgot to say that we open the circle by performing an OOM and we close the same way but this ritual of OOM is used almost in everyone of our circles so best to remember. 
I love the talking circles personally. I really admire the magic behind it and what it can teach us in our daily life. 

As I wandered in this magical place, I found myself occupied with talking circles a lot. Especially the talking circles of the counsel. I just use the word 'counsel'to make a distinct seperation between two ilusionary worlds. The counsel was nothing more than some group of humans who wanted to take on some of the responsibility that could be found here and use that responsibility to help the rainbow survive without any unnecessary problems. They gathered every day. And I found myself one of them. I was curious. This was the first time I attended a world gathering and lots of people said that I had the potential to be one of the responsibility guys so I joined the counsel. Words and actions were shared, while the rainbow went on around us and we discussed what could be done better and which problems we encountered. It was a lot of fun to be sitting there and listening, observing and taking a bigger part in the whole responsible world of reality. I became a known face in the counsel and I took a few jobs very personally. If I could not do them, I could explain it to the counsel and we could find another solution together. Every day was an adventure. It was wonderful to see how the counsel members were each very serious about their jobs and forgot to take their responsibilities with a smile and a loving insecurity. It was wonderful to see how we worked together to think of a solution, and how we fought sometimes in order to get our frustration out and remind ourselves that there are difficulties that we can not overcome alone. The counsel also worked as a bridge between the outside world and the rainbow. Some of us were in contact with the police and tried to create a friendship between us. The police had said for instance that we had to move all the tents of everyone to another location, or that there can be no small campfires in the forest. We tried to listen and instigate actions to make the familiy aware of the guidelines of the police but it takes time to get 2000 hippies to listen and act in accord of the authority. 

 A fire was made and all the opposing and all the agreeable forces were at war. I was friends with everybody and i waited. I listenend like always and talked and played my part as the storyteller they all though was me and waited. This war came to my doorstep and i had only to accept the invitation to care and i was in the game. Many talking circles it took and many debates back and forth but then it was paying day. At the moment of exhale, the opposing forces did not want to sit in the last talking circle to debate again so i was send to speak for them and oppose the fire in the forest. The storyteller  could not believe its luck. A beautiful girl had been the spokesperson to deliver me the news the opposing forces agreed upon and Cestmir had been signed, sealed and delivered to the country of birth: Chaos. So i took a leisurely stroll to the campsite of my friends and joined the talking circle. And as a good citizen, i defused the happiness of my friends and denied them acces to warmth. A great upheavel roared alive and i wavered only a little bit inside. I was asked to clarify my disposition and the storyteller manouvered his way around the truth but truth has to prevail and so i took a moment of silence and said: "I deny the existence of this fire because a beautiful girl asked me to." 

Serious threats rained down and i should burn in hell for my theatric horny instincts and mind games but in between the cold and angry responses was a heartbeat that they all felt and when there responses died down, they began to listen to this heartbeat and they realized that my horny instincts made it possible for them to release emotion. This emotion spoke about the love and the care that they had of this fire. This emotion was a surprising but welcoming gift and they began to thank me for it. And so, Cestmir had survived the war. The fear and agony of denial had vanished and I granted them no resistance further. 

It was Noam who completely understood the power hungry storyteller that i was and she made me think twice about my need to experience further chaotic situations. Silence was the best policy. And confrontation gives rise to questions so i started to dial down. The most inner joy dies when we pretend to be. She could depict that I was making me feel special for the sake of joy and i had to learn that true joy was never born from the act of creation but from creation itself.