Ohrid

So,, for the first time i felt home

the cares that were resting on my shoulders fell of and i gave them to the wind to inspire the liberty to choose freedom above fear.

Ohrid was my home,

for a month I walked the streets and looked at the lake with her ever changing beauty
i dived in her waters and surfaced with new love to give the moment her celebration

It all begin with a woman who loved the way i looked
she made me stay with her

she had another young guest who became a good friend of mine

when he listened i felt listened to

when he spoke, i felt myself in his words

he was Honest towards the world
setting his goals far, so that his own strenght to overcome the barrieres of his mind could triumph and he could live in his fairytale

i could relate to his story

but the only thing which was different,
and it made me laugh every time i thought of it

was that he wanted to make a certain amount of money each year


then he was happy

the way he aproached this goal was fascinating

he sat one day outside in a restaurant and saw a streetperformer doing his thing

suddenly, in his mind there was a happening and he stood up and gave the streetperfomer one hundred euro

Because he knew, that money needed to flow, it was energy
and if he didn't let it flow it would never come

by doing this act he took a next step into extracting the wisdom from every moment and i have no doubt he would live in his dreams

he already did

one more thing which bonded us that we both liked girls
like, seriously loving them

he made me understand what the power of a prince could do

I met him, at the perfect time ofcourse,,
i was just finished with my chapter of finding myself and going into the mindset where my thinking mind became one with the prince inside of me to celebrate the moment as a child who expressed his love for connection

And in me he saw a friend who had the same adventure and fairytale as he
and he loved it

one time,, he took one and a half hour to perfect my beard and mustache

And the girls were waiting

We were walking the streets and suddenly he would greet a beautiful lady across the street
to hang out with us

so she did, and we had a lovely walk wherein the wisdom of all the dots that surrounds us could connect to the wisdom inside to be honest towards feelings

we sat at a restaurant where i knew what he was about to do because he gave his long hair the freedom to sway

and when he did this, he always was ready to kiss a girl

but when he was getting close , the girl did not want to and so he sat back down

This friend made me understand that life is a game,, a beautiful game
where lovers could break barriers to understand the celebration of honesty

I was ready
almost

We went into a club where a group of three girls were dancing beside us

one of them eyed me and then they came closer

one of the friends explained that this girl thought i was very, very beautiful

and what i did, was not run around in the park of forgetfulness but i interacted

made her smile and connected

when she was leaving to her town she said " you must visit us."

It was one week later that i told her my feelings of connection and she was surprised,  because she did not feel that i was attracted to her when we met.

But what i told her would have to wait

I met another girl who i saw when i was sitting on the beach

she was the most beautiful girl
and i stood up and went to her

" sorry, but i have to say that you are very beautiful, your beauty is radiating of my skin"

she smiled beauty and her mother who sat next to her smiled to

she left us alone to talk
and we talked

as if a connection would only ask honesty to let beauty and forgiveness form into the smiles that touches your skin

She was studying greek and was on holdiday with her parents

her parents invited me to spend the day with them and i was their godson for a day
I gave this beautiful girl the words of attraction that i felt and we began to play with it

the parents gave me as much food as i could carry and i gave the girl a kiss on the cheek

she touched the place on her cheek where my lips caressed it and she said " I will always remember that"


So ,my days as a lover and a dreamer began to speak the vibrance of connection without being afraid

I was feeling flustered if i thought about the future

After this meeting, my backpack and sleeping bag got stolen
after four years they had enough of me,,
now i could fend for myself

so i began to meet Darko and Victor

The Ninja and Breath Master who invited me into their home to cross worlds with them

It was my first experience with MDMA and i felt myself becoming addicted

but i felt strong, because i had four years of travel behind me who could tell me that i was not afraid of loosing myself and even if it did happen that i could find no way out

there was always a way

I did it three times
and some speed as well

and the reason why i did it, was because I wanted to meet the wisdom of the world inside of me.

my brother and father, who are the founders of my essence both got lost in taking drugs

one time in their life they were completely lost and my father almost died when i was small because he could not stop

That was why i had to loose myself because i knew that i could find myself when all was lost and take the step my dad and brother never did

I have written a short story about it

this is it
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it feels that i locked the Mdma in my stomach with the breathing exercises Victor taught me
it all blended perfectly, The Mdma was fading away and thereby the need to worship my skin, my words turned into doubts for i already missed the release that it gave me.

in my mind i was challenging the doubts to turn into wisdom. it was a challenge not easy to play out. i had to face the nothingness that could exist if i just gave in , in becoming a drugaddict
and as time doesn't exist i was in the lands where nothingness saw me materialize. it screamed silently in my face, and it changed into the faces of my brother and father. so there i was
inches away from the truth that smacked me in my face, as if the punch was trapping me in a whirlwind of silence that kept punching me without any blow

my tears began to array themselves around my eyes and i could only look and extract the wisdom while keeping my feet from falling

when victor layed next to me, his energy relaxed
i was already back in my body and had won the fight

therefore i took a step that my father and brother never could
to learn how to give these lands a place in the heart that it created

but when Victor started Breathing, another step was made
for i acted on on my impulse to follow this breathing that he did

he heard me and directed me
and 10 times my breath had it's chance to release itself from the depth where he came from
and in this aftermath of air that began to reside in the particles that were part of me

i felt my head lifted upwards, exposing my throat to the demon that i never knew i had in me
i could not see him but i felt his fangs releasing the lands of nothingness where he resided
and in this state i blend

not only with the lands but with every scream of silence that kept their voices from giving me the chance to shout at all the mountains, why they did not move

for i understood that i was not angry at my father and brother but at all those people who neglect change when change is knocking at your door
trying to get in, to save the world today

but the people like to play doctor for their own game and spawn misery in their wake
yes/
i was angry at my father and brother but at least they had the decency to spit in my face, and release me

in the midst of pain

blending every desire with the words that became

i saw how the world proclaimed their love for me, how they excepted me in their beauty, i saw senses melt my body, becoming one with extasy

and Victor was not finished , he made me Breath 30 times more
as if my nostrils could flare with the clean air that made me resilient to any kind of convenience that the demon whispered in my ear

i took the sky and placed it in my stomach
and the waves that came over me, filled me with the fragrance of clouds that whispered to eac other

he is free

Victor taught me to suspend the fallen creatures so they will never fall
and the inside of my stomach is burning

 because the feeling of worshiping my skin has come through the lands of nothingness, expelled the demon that had it's lair where conveniences whispered in my ear
to become one with all my fears and even the sky came alive in the senses that melted in my skin. becoming part of the unity within

breathing could do what no one ever could

becoming part of the story that everyone shuts up
but there is a voice in insanity that we have to understand if we want to be free from any slavery
and go, into the lands where love can grow,, for the trees and the bees and flowers at ease will grow the limbs where nothingness could end
and /
begin

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I met Jan in ohrid

a traveller from Israel who also adopted a dog from macedonie
we became really good friends who slept next to each other and had crazy adventures

together we could celebrate each other story

he got in trouble with the police because of his smart mouth and i was with him, as a true friend would

shaking him into reality
and then drifting of again in the fairytale of life


we spend one week together and then Roma and Maia appeared on the scene

they were travellers from franch who were on their way to Hitchike to Australia

they were a couple but i fell in love with Maia

I could not stop seducing her, the way she moved untill the way she spoke was letting me fall deeper into the lakes of her smiles

And she was intrigued to say the least

She was the key of finding my backpack and sleeping bag again

a homelesss guy came and asked her if she had lost a backpack

he took it, three weeks ago from the streets

so, together with Maia i began to follow this homeless guy on an adventure

" Why do you think you cannot kiss me."

Maia asked me

the truth was that i respected Roma enough that i did not want to hurt him

he did not like my feelings and did not allow Maia to come with me to Hitchhike around

So, she left my world, giving me the feelings of being lost in a sea of no fears

I made love to a girl from Israel who could not believe the beauty that i possessed
that was wonderful

but i had to leave everything behind to understand what Maia taught me

I had to finally end the Dentist mission which i did,. it took me one month because the Dentist was very sweet and chilled.

My glasses broke

In these weeks i also met Aleks and Andrej
who became true friends

we called each other the love warriors
 they wanted to come with me to the Albanian Rainbow so this weekend we go


and now i have come to the conclusion of what Ohrid gave me

ooooh wait

that girl in the bar

What i told her was " the only reason why i would come to Belgrade is to lay next to you, kiss you and tell secrets to one another"

And as i said, she was surprised
happily

and i could come over in one month

she wanted to be the maiden in my dreams