Czech Republic

My plan of going to Italy or Norway were interrupted by the convenience that a friend of mine created. Rogier was going for a small Europe trip and his first stop was Prague so i went with him.

Rogier is a traveller who has been in many countries and has been with his Landrover in Africa for six months. He loves the outdoors and freedom. It was a celebration for our friendship to go to Czech Republic together with the car. We knew each other from Hongerige Wolf but never really talked. i never knew we could bond as good as we did. Our stories were listened to and praised.

In Prague we went to a cafe where a Karoake meeting took place from Couchsurfing members. Rogier was planning on going there so i joined him. I saw a young man sitting alone wich had a strange feeling of brothership surrounding him so i sat with him and asked about himself. His name was Jack and he was from England but lived in Czech Republic for ten years with his mother and father and his younger brother. We bonded quite good and he said 'well, i am going to the woods next weekend and you can definitly find the inspiration there to write new poems.'So there it was. My plan was made. I must admit that i pushed him a little bit. Rogier was joining us and together with Jack he saw how i made a poem for the waitress and got a free wine. I already had made a poem for some Dutch Students and had made 200 kronen but the waitress was giving of this energy of loveliness. when i gave her the poem her reaction was worth thousand kronen. It was as if she heard her thoughts on paper. I saw her wiping a tear from her eyes. She asked how long i would stay in Prague. Hearing that i would probably stay for two weeks she said 'Well, then i will see you again then.' Unfortunatly i could not let her wish come true.

Jack was very happy with his poem as well. We talked for hours, well, i talked for hours about how i ended up in Prague. It was good to have a listening ear now and again.

Rogier slipt 500 kronen in my notebook when he left with a hug. What a strange man he is.

Now i could take my time. I had 700 kronen so i got lazy. I didn't need to earn money so every day i would walk for hours along the borders of Prague. They had water in the park wich you could drink from so my life in these weeks was going to the library for a free toilet and free internet and going to the parks for free drinkwater and free sleeping. I really didn't write any poetry for money untill the second last day i left Prague.

my food: Garlic and Onion; chopped and sliced into small pieces and mixed with two spoons of Peanutbutter. Sometimes i would have Apples and bread. One night i shared my meal with a homeless and he showed me the place where the free food was for that night. It was soup with potato.

The first real day i had in Prague my Camera got stolen. I was so dumb sometimes: I left my Camera outside my bag, next to me while i was sleeping in the park. In the morning i woke up with a homeless man in my face who spread out his hands in a calming fasion; that was supposed to stop my suspicion. 'Sigaret, Sigaret, sigaret.'he shouted and he stepped back. I noticed a small black blur in his hands but i didn't had time to put my glasses on. When he walked away i stepped out of my sleeping back and ran after him. My suspicion was great now. I faguely remembered that i placed my camera not anywhere safe. So i confronted him and he stopped. 'Sigaret, Sigaret, Sigaret.' He gave me his backpack and i checked it but i couldn't see a damn thing and i felt nothing so i gave it back to him and convinced myself that i did not look closely near my sleeping place. In that moment the Homeless man dropped his shade of ignorance and with a swift hand replacement he pinched my Cock. 'You must fuck a lot of women with that huh.'

I was so stupefied that i sort of waved at him to be gone and i went back to my backpack.  After that, for several days, i was scared of sudden movements. Oh and yeah, my camera was stolen by him after all.

 But then the happiness returned after two days. I walked somewhere and i saw a smiling, waving traveller looking at me. So i went to her and we got talking. It was an instant bond we had and within five minutes she said to her boyfriend who woke up from his siesta that i was cool and lovely. The rest of the afternoon i spend with them. They had a lot of friends coming over to their spot and i was introduced to all. Now, you must know that my name, Cestmir, is from Czech. It is a Czech name and deirby everyone knows in Czech what my name means. It is quite unique, even in Czech and the traveller did not stop by explaining how i got the name and that i was from the Netherlands and not even from Czech and it was mindblowing for her and so strange but then again so cool.  Every day i spend in Czech Republic people asked about my name in a way of saying 'but, but, it cannot be , that name is Czech. Technically speaking it is from Czeckoslovakia. It means Honest Peace and yes, you have a fairytale called Flying Cestmir, Gods.

The travellers saw that i was a good person so they gave me the key to the appartment where they were living. It was from a friend of them and i could stay there for two or more nights, they needed to babysit a small niece of five years old so i had all the room for myself.

When i slept here there was one day where i had a serious thought about who i am and what i was capable of and why i did what i did.

A lot of questions, that combined was a devasting blow to the soul. But it was what i did to myself every few weeks. It made me stronger in the end and i could float away on a cloud again. but when i was in it i felt digusted about wo i was. But i needed it to dig deep and dig hard to answer for myself why i needed to believe in myself. Luckily for me my writing ability did not leave me and i spun my thoughts as if i was spinning them on a spinning wheel.

Out came a story about my father who left me when i was six, and even though i knew this already and i pondered on it for, well, all my life, i saw that it still really bothered me and my thought was saying that i wrote poetry for people and want to inspire them to give a middle finger to my dad and scream at his face 'See, see for yourself who you left behind, you motherfucker.'

And then my thought was that this was not a good reason to write and inspire so i just needed to quit writing but then i stumbled over the truth that every thought is truth but not every thought was wisdom.

Hell, i loved to write and inspire people by telling my story and share in a combination of misfortune and happiness. My father has nothing to do with it.
So there it happened.

My feeling of cloudwalking.
It was as if i became one again with everything i created and everything i became.

So i walked on the streets again and saw a girl sitting on the streets that wanted to go to South America for she had no need for the winters here. Here name was Anna and she hitchhiked as well. For six months she has travelled with her best friend but now, for three weeks , she travelled alone. The amazing part was that she travelled because of the exact same reason i was travelling. To feel free and find your own strenght on the path to independence. These are fancy words for a broken soul.

Anna wanted a shower so i invited her over but as we walked i saw a girl walking past us who i needed to make a poem. So i ran after her. She was in a hurry to see a street artist so i beckoned Anna that we would go with her.
The streetartist was from Morroco and i danced with him. I made poems for Anna and the girl and an Indian girl who wanted to live in the Netherlands.
The girl who i wanted to make a poem for was dressed in drapes of silks and has been in India. There she learned to control her body by fasting and eating only fruit for a year. She healed people and invited us to eat at her place.

When Anna and me got to the appartment my friends were there too and they had another friend come over. He was French and was a wonderful human being. He wanted to show us a great place in Prague where you could set up your tent so of course we said yes.

but the following morning we took the wrong tram and ended up getting lost. we had to do everything in our power to be on time for the healing lady and the French guy. We hurried so much we didn't look like travellers who wanted to become free. But Anna had and me laughted at eachother and she called me the Alpha dog and we dropped in each others arms on the streets. Exausted we made it trough the day but we were too late for both of our appointments. Luckily the girl and the guy didn't found it a problem and we had an amazing lunch of noodles and Cashewnuts grinded into a sauce. We were two hours too late for the french guy but when we called him he said 'ooh, then i can come and get you then.' We were really surprised but he led us to this beautiful forest with a camping site hidden in it. With a campfire just behind the tree line.

When the French guy was gone we were finally in the silence bubble we wanted to be in all our lives.
I sat on the ground with my legs apart and she went and sat in front of me. I massaged her and lived in the absolute silence of who i was and who i became and who i would become. Time was now and everything combined made me a long tale of destiny. Peaceful of every move i made and every move my feelings would guide. I felt one with Anna and everything surrounding me. I stroked her hair, her face, her legs and she was silent. Melancholy flustered her feelings and her breath was quit and her heartbeat quickend. I remarked that the sun was going down so we stood up.

She got Peanutbutter and wine from the shops and i gathered wood for the fireplace. It was dark when we started. I had a firemaker and she searched for a lighter but couln'd find anything, so we tried it. We almost gave up but after 20 minutes it happened and we launched in eachothers arms. Slowly and with encouraging words the fire became to eat his way out of his small enclosement and began to win the battle of survival. It was mostly Anna who made the fire really high. 'We made a baby.'we screamed. After we ate our beans and drank from the wine we slowly began to get ready for bed. We sat close to the fire with our sleeping bags half covering our bodies. I Shedded my T-shirt since the morning and wrapped myself against Anna to keep me warm. Our stories unravelled again and within moments we were swapping entire worlds with eachother. When i was finally done with my Fantasy world i looked over and saw her sleeping

A feeling of great honesty and peace overwhelmed me and it was the best feeling ever. Everyone can heirby go to sleep when i am telling them a story.

In the morning i saw Jack again, it was the day that we went to the forest.
His parents lived there and it was a family reunion this weekend.

So i found myself making poetry for all the family.
but first i met his family. I immediately fell in love with his Aunt. His father (Peter) was really happy that i could come with and his mother(Katska) had the biggest smile for me. His grandfather (Kaya) was reminding me of my own and his little brother( Zack) was a small rascal who didn't obeyed.

His aunt (Mathilda) flew in from London and there was family from Canada who were in Europe for the first time. Katska had Veggie lasagna for us and we ate like there was no tommorow - or I did.
Jack's family was really a bunch of self conscious people who laughed at each other for the world is only to laugh about. Mathilda told about a taxidriver who was as smart as the end of a broomstick. He wanted to be smart and talked about how good the Brexit was. he chose the wrong woman to joke with. I laughed with them but it was not all laughing. Whenever i was in the kitchen with Mathilda or Katska i would share some of my history with them and they were the best audience i could wish for. They would give me advice and share so much love with me that i felt a part of the family. And so they said later on. I was, for a little while, part of the family. It was not only in the kitchen where i felt connected to them. Peter would joke with his sons every chance he got and Katska would roll her eyes. Mathilda once said "Fuck Womble" to Peter and when we had figured out what it meant the sentence stuck and was used in many situations and everytime greeted with much laughter. Zack wanted to take a part of the laughter and he searched the many jokes you can look up on the internet. Some of them were actually really good and Zack felt like a master when we all laughed once again. 'I tried to look at things from your point of view but i just can't get my head that far up my arse.' and 'I thought of you today. It pissed me off.'

Kaya could not travel when he was younger. His dad didn't let him but he really loved the cold so when he was old enough he went to Iceland, Norway and Alaska. he really reminded me of my grandfather. Lovingly and silent. On the second day when the rest of the family came we went up to the Woods to walk the two dogs. One was a really fluffy one and was as big as my legs. In the beginning he barked at me and Katska and me were really trying our best to calm her. I wondered what it thought but Katska was saying that the dog was to dumb to  know her own thoughts. But she was really loved by all of the family. The other dog was a little bit wolf and i thought about the dog my family had.

In the Woods i met the twins of the family. I could hear that they were different than Jack and his parents. I just said that i wrote poetry and wanted to inspire the world and i could feel that they were sceptical. When we returned from the walk the party was really going on and the roasted pig was really leaving holes in his body. Yes, they had roasted pig but fortunatly they had very lovely other dishes i could eat. Jack made us a beautiful Pasta and i could eat whatever i found in the refrigerator. But i had a job to do and Peter and many others still needed to give me three words.

When i asked the Twins for three words they were hesitant. They were people who think they succeeded in life when they climbed the Himalaya. But when i went to the bathroom and returned, i saw one of them reading a poem i made for a different family member. I watched him carefully for a few seconds and then went past him. But he looked up and said "I have my three words." So i wrote them down and made a poem. The twins had two girlfriends who also wanted to have poems made for them but they only came when the twin came. but when i had finished the poem i gave him a sign to come and he did. With a curious look in his eyes. by this time i had maybe three poems i still had to complete, so everyone knew already what i was doing and were surrounding me a little bit. the twin silenced the croud and i performed the poem. It went well and he actually said to me that it was a masterpiece. I was really glad i could change his mind and write him a poem that fitted his personality. His words were very personal as well. I didn't say it had to be. I was writing and eating again and i heard that the twin with the poem went into the kitchen to encourage his brother to give me three words. By this time i had the poem of Peter ready and i performed his. He had said to me that he would never accept a poem with 'fuck womble' in it so i made him one. He was amazingly happy about the result and really thanked me. The other twin was going over to me and said with a boyish glimps in his eyes "I have three words." I wrote them down and he tried to change one word but that couldn't happen so he had four words in the end. He really had trust in me because the words were really explaining a really big part of who he was.

When i wrote it i saw in the corner of my eye that a circle was made with Peter as 'leader.' The twins and the girlfriends were actually really listening to Peter who read the poem i gave him. It was a bizar scene. I beckoned the twin and he hurled himself to me. Immediatly, everyone was surrounding me and they were so silent i felt really in my element. In these moments, when i have all the control and i could use the silent as i saw fitted i felt like a blessed young boy who created the peace on the world.  Honest and true. When i finished he hugged me and said "You are my hero. You are my brother."

I felt like i was born for this moment, only to give this man a feeling that he was seen.

I had a little more problems by making the poems for the girlfriends and especially the last one was terrible but you can not always succeed.

I also wrote poetry for the family out of Canada and they loved it as well. the man was jealous of me that i could play with words that easily.

In the evening Mathilde and Peter said to me that it was truelly a beautiful and unique thing that the twins had invited the artistic world to touch them. It was the first time they did anything out of their comfort zone. They really embraced with all their hearts. Peter and Mathilde were really amazed. Peter asked if i was tired or hungry and i said that i was both. "Yes, now you can rest, everyone has a poem. Now you deserve a meal." Minutes later Peter came back with a huge plate of bread and every delicous thing in the kitchen. "Sit down and enjoy." I definitly did. We talked and talked about our lives and how i became a poet and they wanted to know how i did what i did.
Peter called me a 'lean mean poem machine.'

You must know that i am a mystery for myself as well. I just do. I follow my instincs, my feeling and i end up doing what i do. But sometimes my mind let his brilliance be captured in a speech of explanation. I never remember a whole lot of what i said at these moments but my audience have some of the answers. Because i know, Whatever i say at these moments it is the truth. Every word of it. These moments only come if i truly feel one with the moment and who i am and what i can become. It is very hard to explain but then my unconciousness decides to open up all of the sudden.
and i could rattle on and on about my life and my thoughts.

Mathilde said that the poems for the twins were spot on.
I shared the wonderful tales of life with them and got to know a little bit of their history. I said that i fell in love with Mathilde the first moment i met her and she confessed that she fell in love with me also. It was my smile she said. I shared a wine with Peter and we talked about the brillance of life.

In this weekend i contacted Anna as well and she scared the hell out of me. She said that she had depressive feelings and it had the symptons of bipolar. I felt very sorry that we didn't talk about these feelings and wanted to meet her again.

And we did. when i was in Plzen.

but first in the morning me and 'my' family went to a restaurant to have a final good time before we seperated. But first we sat in the garden and Zack began to splash Jack with water. Just normal behaviour for a twelve year old. Jack chased him and got him wet also. Mathilde and Peter encouraged them and Katska stayed out of it. I knew i had to play along. So i climb out of my shirt and sneaked upon Jack. I ran away when i hit him. We were all laughing now. Zack had a plan and whispered "Should we hit my mom". Yes, we should." Katska was really surprised when it came and stood up to fill a bottle of her own. But i sneaked up on her and deposited my water on her head. "Katska, you are really bad at this game," Said Peter, laughing. Jack had a bucket for me as well and i filled the last bucket and ran after Zack. He could run as hard as he could but i had longer legs so eventually i was running next to him and i could shower him in pool of water. Everybody clapped.

When we were dry, we went to the restaurant. We ordered and Peter and Zack were like little boys who were annoying every one around them, especially Katska who was very tired. The laughing playful feelings of the day were building higher and higher. When Peter and Zack were really pushing it i said "Fucking wombles." This was the first sentence i uttered in a long while and everybody laughed louder than ever. Mathilde gave me a thumbs up.

When i went back to Prague i tried to put Anna out of my mind and came in contact with Isabel.
Isabel wrote a letter for her cousin who was five. I wrote a fairytale for her cousin and we got talking. She really liked my attitude i guess because she invited me to come with her.

We went to a lake and swam together. She was not letting anything slip about her history but she could not stop telling me how she expirienced the world and i was most happy to hear all of it. I did the personal part and she asked me hard questions i really needed to think about.

In the evening she left me to meet her friend who came from London. I slept on a hill after i made a poem for a band who had a professional photo shoot on the hill.

Isabel and i met each other again but first i waited for her in the square for we had had made an appoinment. but she had fun with her friend so she slept in a park somewhere and went around town. I sat in the square the whole day and at the end a Dutch couple said next to me. We got talking and i made my first poem in Prague to make money. He gave me 50 euro. "I hope everyone will give you such kindness. Your poems are briljant." Isabel called me and i ran to the Restaurant she was in with her friend. Michaela was the name of the friend and they knew each other because Michaela was the ex of the friend of Isabel. One day Isabel just thought they would be good friends so they had a talk and found out that they really liked to be with one and other.

I made a poem for Michaela as well. I made Isabel a poem to, but i gave it to her when we where at the lake. When we were at the lake, i had a vision of a painting i could make of the moment. I said this to Isabel and she said. "Well, you could make a poem of it."

I know that i could do such thing but the expression of my words in such a poem could be so powerful that people can be scared if the poem is about them. Because then the poem would be of a minute or a second instead of three days or some weeks. But i made the poem and she wanted to hear it. But when i performed it she actually interrupped me and said that i didn't need to finish but now i had to.

Isabel and Michaela were sleeping at the house of a host on couchsurfing and tonight they would contact me and we would go out.
"The waitress is really cute," Isabel said. I had seen it already and i made a poem for her. She was surprised and couldn't stop with thanking me.

When we went out the waitress was there as well but not alone. She had the third most beautiful girl with her. Her friend. So i made her a poem and i was scared of looking into her eyes so we didn't say so much to each other. I asked her one question "What is your dream," But she was not ready to tell me. Her loving smile said to me that she wanted to know me first.

The host of Isabel invited me to sleep at his place as well and he also made me a poem.

He looked really weird at us when we ate crackers with avocado as a dinner.
The next day we walked around and i began to walk to Plzen.
Because i knew i needed to have the time on my own again to contemplate what my unconciousness learned in Prague. and to re invent myself.

All these days the sun had given me enough sweat to melt Snow so i lived without a T-Shirt but after the second day of my walk to Plzen a thunderstorm came and it rained the whole night. I was very lazy so all of my spare clothing was wet in the morning and even my shoes. So i had to walk barefooted for two days. I had to climb a mountain and after two more days i was in Plzen.

I had picked some Apples and went to the library to use the computer. I needed to release my negative feelings on Facebook and after that i felt much better. and i knew what i had to do. So i made poems again to have some food in my stomach. It Worked. But still some of my friends were startled, especially Anna. So she decided to go to me in Plzen. She was in Bratislava at that moment but still, she wanted to. I couldn't stop her.

In the days that followed Rogier came to Plzen and two guys hosted him in their house. I had giving them a message asking if i could sleep there as well. That was no problem and it was very amazing. They were living together and were in a band and were leaders of a children summer camp.
They made potato pancakes for us and i stuffed myself. They had really all sort of alcohol in their house and i had to say no when he would not stop refilling my wine glass.

The next day in the evening Anna came. I was just out to dinner with the guys having a wonderful time so i didn't check my Phone. By the time we came back to the house i checked my Facebook and Anna said that she was in the square. So i ran to the square and asked if Rogier could keep an eye on my Facebook. Rogier called me that Anna had seen the Facebook message that i was at the square and i just had to wait. And indeed, i saw Anna and we hugged each other, smiling and laughed at the reunion. We sat on a bank for a quite while to talk about the feelings we did not talk about before and then we went back to the house. I had asked the couple if Anna could sleep there and it was no problem.

Rogier went to bed because we needed to go to the Netherlands tommorow very early. Anna and our host could really talk openly to each other and it was like they were friends already. I had so much fun watching them talk. But we had to go to sleep. The couch where i slept was transformed into a bed and Anna and me slept next to each other. But our hands were fast and we were curled into each other once again. She said that she looked at me as a light, for we followed the same road, the road of freedom, but i was ahead of her and she could look at me and believe again that she could make it as well. I told her more stories and she fell in sleep again during them.

At half past nine Rogier and i stepped into his Land Cruiser and off we went, back to our Land.