My final days in my country

Silence occurs to me. It shivers in the depths of my waves. It is part of my veins and i would not have it any other way.

So, i left my hometown and after a couple of weeks in Amsterdam where i walked the streets, asked a girl out and let another girl slip through my fingers I went to my hometown again.

This time, only to visit for a few days.

A friend who i know now for 11 years just broke up with his girlfriend. they were together for 5 years and it was suddenly and unexpected. She had painted the walls just the other day and then left.

My friend was painting the walls again, to erase her memory and he was actually very released that the relationship broke. He now found that he was much more relaxed and he could breath and smile to every stranger on the streets and they would smile back.

Isabelle came to us, to hang out. and see me.

I walked her home afterwards and we spoke about the end of our time together.
She was sad about it. I was more happy to find out what i wanted and going for it. I always lived more in the future.

"But, you know, if i leave now and you get over me than there is this very attractive man out there , just waiting to be swept of his feet by your beauty. and he would fit so much better with you than me!"

She was angry that i said that.
I played with cuddles to release the anger.

She smiled again softly. and then we said goodbye.


When i walked back home, i passed the window of my friend and in the morning he texted me "Cestmir? Was it you who past my window in the middle of the night when i went to the bathroom to piss?"

 Yes.

I was almost ready to go. to leave my hometown forever but there was still a story that needed attention.

And that was one of the best friends of my mom.

She and i really are fond of each other. She is a very awesome person who is loved by my whole family and her smile always lights up the room

And i heard that she had some problems with herself in this time.

In the past i offered her my attention to talk about her. she never responded.
but now i reminded her about it and by my surprise she took me on my offer.

So we planned a picknick. She was a bit late and when she came i was mediating and she said "I cannot believe that i have an 'appointment' with Cestmir."

We spread our sheet and covered it with our food.
And then we started talking. about life.

At one time i laughed and in my laughter i found a hug, so i hugged her and i pushed her to the ground. she was surprised as she saw how we rolled through the grass. she laughed with me.

She cried.
And in her crying i found a memory of beauty.
so i kissed her cheek

And the picknick was a celebration of community.

Isabelle came later because she wanted to see me one more time. I was happy because there was still something that i wanted to say to her.

that was the last time that we expressed our love and the magical time we spend together. I discovered  that i really was a lover of the wind and she was too loyal to be in love with a person like that.

So, i needed to say goodbye to another lover who captured my heart

I went to my friends in another city and that would be my last visit to anyone in the Netherlands.
These friends are Jesse, which i met many years ago, on a festival called Hungry Wolf, and his girlfriend, a lovely girl from Poland named Zofia

I spend there one night and i finally saw the final of Game Of Thrones. It was dissapointing.

And so, i left my country and i had my plan of not seeing it for a long while.