My journey out of copenhagen

The first poetry reading in Copenhagen was that evening.
“Hee Cestmir, over here.”
It was Michael.
He saw me as soon as I entered the café.
“Nice to see you again, it seems not so busy but I am wondering about your poetry.”
The café seemed deserted and I wondered why I left Sweden to come to Copenhagen.
but I liked to perform so I tried my best to give my attention to Michael.
He offered me a drink and we chatted about what we did these past days.
I had written some new things I wanted to share and I always felt born as new after I had a performance. So I was looking forward to it. I saw some poets performing and they all inspired me by their different way of reciting their words. Some did it on a slow pace and others played with their hands. Poets themselves are always talking as if they have the wisdom of all the world and simplifying it in a sentence that makes fun of that wisdom. As I was listening to their poetry I started to write my own poem. And then it was my turn.
I took the stage and introduced myself. “ I have written this poem just now and I want to share it with you.”
It was the first sample of stumble your feet, my spoken word poem about loving yourself: inspired by the little girl in Christiania and the experiences I had in Sweden weaved together. I felt good about myself while I stood there. It was the first time that I really felt confident that I had a message that I wanted to share with the public. As I was finished and I sat back on the table with my friend I got some poets coming to me and congratulating me. Michael said it was not so good and when I saw the video he took I could see what he meant. I had still much to learn about being patient. After the poetry café, we walked on the streets and I told him of my days in Sweden.
“Wow, you have experienced a lot in a few days. We must celebrate!”
before I could refuse his offer, he told me that we needed to go to a bar to drink. He knew of some polish bar not far from where we were and so we went.
I rarely went to bars or cafes so I was a little apprehensive but Michael made me smile with his friendship.
There was a girl standing behind the counter and after some account of my feelings, I offered her a poem. Maybe Sweden gave me some courage. She blushed and gave me three words. I was infatuated with everything that had happened these past days and I loved to write this poem. My hand had no trouble to write down the thoughts that came and Michael could not believe the easiness with which I focused and completed it. Michael was affected by this beauty and he loved the poem I made for her. When I recited the poem for her, she blushed again and thanked me very much for the gift. As we walked out into the streets again we talked a lot about love and attraction.
“ Cestmir, you have to know that that girl really fancied you.”
“ Really?”
“Yes, how should we teach you to not be shy? It seems that you do not have any idea how to approach a woman.”
That was true. I hid behind my poetry. I had no idea what I should do in order to close the gap between me and the opposite sex. I still tried an attempt to understand my own stretch of wilderness, let alone the unknown world of women.
When we walked to Christiania we talked a lot about this subject.
“You do not have to be shy. You are talented and handsome. Look at yourself with pride and the girls will fall”
“Pride…. There are too many angles of mystery attached to life for me to be worried about pride.”
“Mystery! Yes, there is a lot of mystery Cestmir but that is what there is and we just have to deal with it.”
During the night we shifted from subject and religion got our attention.
“What is religion to you Cestmir, why did you feel an urge to get baptized in Sweden?”
“I want to know how you can be a part of something so deeply.”
“But we are already a part of something, we are all one, bonded by a huge energy source that connects us through our minds.”
The night with Michael was really opening my awareness. This was the first time on my travels that I spoke about life with somebody who I met on the streets. I loved the feeling to speak and care for the connection that I had with him.
I had thought of the same thing: That there was a huge source somewhere that connected us through strings of consciousness.
“Maybe that is God.”
“Yes! God is not some man in the clouds. God is around us. Seen in all the things that our eyes see.”
I loved that idea. Maybe you could pray to God by simply giving your surroundings the attention of love.


The following days were messy. I shifted constantly as my mood did not know what to do.
There were some prospects of attraction but doubts weaved in-between and soon enough my head was tired from all this trying. Expectations were given to my heart and I did not succeed in full filling them. And then I met Tess.

Again I was blessed to walk in her presence. As soon as I saw her I was filled with smiles and butterflies of life. We went to the festival Distortion. Feelings of family came over me. I really liked to walk with her and share stories. Feelings change so fast sometimes. It almost did not matter what you felt an hour ago. Tess was a wonderful companion and a good source of inspiration. She just broke up with her boyfriend. They had been together for nine years. It was a tough spot she was in but she had so much strength. Her manner of peace that walked with her was giving me chills. As if she had a calmness that gave birth to the beauty that I saw. I could see that she missed her Siblings. It made me feel blessed that I could miss them too.
Her laugh was the most beautiful thing I ever witnessed. As if the world stopped and her smile made me think about all the times I did not express my love to my family. Her serious gentle attitude held a power that could destroy pain. She came to Copenhagen to be a hairdresser and now looked for a job. But what she really wanted was to sing Jazz. At eight in the evening we picked up Mads (her dad) at the train station.
“Hey Cestmir.”
He gave me a handshake as if we had known each other for our whole lives. I felt that carried himself with much respect. Back in the days, he had been a very good friend of my dad and he related to me as such: A son of her former good friend. Together we walked around the festival. It was different with Mads there but still, as a storyteller, I really liked to walk around a festival in Copenhagen with two old characters of my youth. The festival was huge. It was a festival who moved through the city every day. Wheelchairs were in the air, red smoke hanging as a cloud before us. We turned a corner and foam filled the street. People were enjoying themselves and we passed through them as if we had a mission. It seemed we walked for hours in the crowd. I had no idea where Mads was taking us. But finally we stopped in front of an Indian. Mads was saying that it was the best Indian in Denmark and we were going to eat there. He paid for us and as we found a place and ate our meals, I found myself getting quite because I really enjoyed the taste. Mads lived in Copenhagen with Samantha before they moved to Barcelona and he showed us a beer bar in the neighborhood. He was going to begin a beer Bar in Barcelona as well. I do not drink beer but of course I was excited for him. Mads saw my dad as his best friend. For him it was weird to see me as Cestmir because I was just like my dad. I was always my dad's son for him and he had to protect me and be my teacher. I didn’t mind this statement. I went travelling to meet the past of my parents. It confused me a bit to see that he had no interest in getting to know me but luckily I still had Tess next to me who could make me feel seen. But it drained my energy to be around Mads. All that walking that he wanted to do was getting to me. A good days walk between the crowds without stopping to see something from the festival. It made me wonder what he liked to do. In the evening we went to a café in Christiania and I said goodbye shortly after. I was in need of sleep and I still had to find a place where I could lay down.







Wheelchair in the air:




When I woke up I was excited. Yesterday I had made an appointment with Tess to see her on the festival again. I was going to meet her at a Reggae tent inside Distortion. When I found the tent there was no Tess but I enjoyed my time the best I could and saw a lovely love story unravel itself inside the crowd. I loved observing people and so it was a wonderful sight to see the small details of the crowd outside the reggae tent. A boy and a girl were kissing and playing with the music that made their bodies move. The girl went away soon afterwards and the boy followed. It was like a run and dance game wherein two children were trying to hide from each other, only to find each other again. I thought about Tess and missed her a little bit. Someone tapped upon my shoulder.
“Your glasses look really cool.”
She was a beautiful girl with long dark hair and brilliant green eyes, high cheekbones and a little full upon the hips. She was with a man who had amazing blue eyes, short blond hair and a rough beard. He was as tall as me.
“Thank you. I love your eyes. Can I make you a poem?”
When I spoke to them the girl was all girly and the man was all about standing proudly, as if he was proud having met her that day. I could see how dreamy he got when he looked at her and wanted to be her boyfriend but she would go to Israel the next day. But I saw in her eyes that she wanted to be his girlfriend. They offered me a drink and I accepted. Afterwards I gave them the poem about their eyes and a balloon who was the symbol of lost dreams. The girl amazed herself about my poem.
“Wow, it is so amazing that you gave the balloon such an important role.”
When the guy and me were alone he asked me advice about what he should do with this girl. “Love, is the most precious thing.” I said.
I did not see Tess.









The couple with the symbolic balloon:








I went to the third poetry reading; I forgot the second. There was no audience and just two poets. It was no success but Michael was there. He had forgotten the second poetry reading as well. It was nice but I would have preferred to stay in Sweden than to attend these Poetry readings. I was still experimenting what kind of traveler I wanted to be and how to move with ease along my new path. I never lived outside of my family house and then suddenly I was trying to move through the entire world. I had a lot of basic things to learn about taking care of myself. He surprised me when he invited me over to his house.
When I entered I sat down on  chair and started to remove my shoes.
I was confronted by the first hard lesson that people gave me along the way of my travels.
“Whattt!??? You foolish boy. Take off your shoes in the bathroom. Your feet really stink!!”
He was angry and I was hurt by his confrontation but I needed to be taught a lesson or two.
“The stench that comes off your feet is enough to gas me out. What are you waiting for?! Wash them in the bathroom!”
 I washed my feet in the tub, decided that I should buy ten pair of socks and he played his flute for me. We had dinner together and I could sleep in the garden of the flat.


When I woke up I knew that my time in Copenhagen was over. I wanted out. It was time to travel again and leave the city to entertain the unknown of the road with my presence. I spent my last money on falafel and went into the metro. After 20 minutes I got off and went to the nearest beach before I hitchhiked. It was easy to find and I was soon in the water. I loved to wash the dirt from the city. It was really cold but it was refreshing. It was a sign of a fresh beginning, a new start. I felt free of Copenhagen and a new land of experience laid itself before me. It was hard to leave things behind but when I eventually made up my mind, the liberation of unchaining the past was a comfort where I absolutely could not get enough from.  The sea took the liberty of confronting me with the endless motions of movements. For a couple of weeks now I experienced life as new. Not as a preordered package that your mom and dad gave you but a whole new world wherein the possibilities were not only endless but also never taught in school. Every step that I took was a complete discovery and I had the freedom to choose the life I wanted. I had felt trapped when I was in the Netherlands because I thought that you needed money in order to release you from the stress of living, but then when you got money you needed to spend it and earn some more. It seemed a never-ending cycle of stress for me and so I felt trapped. I also wondered where you could find the time in the midst of this rat race of survival, to heal yourself from all that stress gathered. So I could not be happier and more grateful for the opportunity that opened the road for me. It was finally a dive in the stream of life without its regulations and I could not wait, to be swept away by its current, again and again. It was not so different than changing schools or getting a new job. The only difference was that I just became a student of nothing and the responsibility to survive was given to no one but myself. I loved every part of it.

 After my swim it was time to find a place to sleep. I looked around and saw not so many people. There were some barbeque families and some bodybuilders who played with their children so I decided to walk to the bodybuilders.
“Hello, excuse me.”
They looked fierce and longer than me as they stood around me.
“What do you want.”
Uum.. I had a question, I was looking for a place to sleep and wanted to ask if any of you had a free couch.”
They looked at me as if I was mad.
“No, go away.”
Sadly , I turned around but felt a finger poking my right shoulder when I wanted to walk away. In my ear I heard a soft whisper. I turned my back a little and found one bodybuilder who softly said.
“Uum, you can sleep at my place, I don’t have a couch but I have a shed.”
The secrecy of the conversation reminded me that It was not a great idea to jump from joy. He gave me his address and said that I was welcome at five. So at five I walked towards his place. When I was on the road I got lost and a mother and a daughter in a car stopped and asked if they could help me. They dropped me off at his house. Kim was the name of the bodybuilder, and I loved his clumsiness when he talked English. I saw a little girl going into the house and Kim showed me his shed. I loved him so much. Not only the willingness wherein he expressed his happiness but everything about him. It inspired me how easily and how fast he invited this traveler to be a part of his privacy. Only a little part but a part it was. Kim was a man of pleasant behavior and willing to express gratitude in the soft tone of his voice. He made me feel that he was grateful to meet me and I did not expect it. I could easily lay down in the shed and I was most thankful. He did as if it was nothing and made me bread. I was feeling really warm inside for meeting this man and I was blessed that I was able to see again the kindness that lived so easily in everyone’s capabilities.


I had slept amazing. Maybe one of the best nights so far.
I awoke with new power and happy feelings.
When he woke up I thanked him once again but he said:
“I am happy that I could help you, I would want the same for my daughter when she travels. If she was not home I would give you a bed but..”
This made my heart melt, there was so much love present that I drifted away in the vision of his daughter who could be traveling in a far distant country one day, receiving the same wonderful treatment I had been given because Kim gave it to me in the first place. Karma was a wonderful and grateful concept. He confronted me with the simplicity of grandeur. Life could be so easy. We could just be aware that we give gratitude to every moment we go through and then we walk life as it is supposed to be. Why should we ever think too much about the right responds that we could give life? The sheer magnificence of Kim’s gesture towards me shattered me.
His humbleness and his care for his daughter embraced me in a tender and gentle way. He was putting his reputation on the line to host me for one night. I would remember the kind smile of this man in the future and act with elegance if any situation in the future asks for any care.
I felt real good when I left them and went to the highway to hitchhike. I met and learned lessons that invited me to celebrate love more. Along this road of discovery there were many options to enjoy the life you put yourself through. Every situation that greets our arrival carries the angle of love within it and it was only our reserved nature to not trust on greatness that held us from that love. It was hard sometimes to believe in greatness if you put yourself down. But there we stand again, and we just have to calm down. There is a suspense of happiness within every moment if we would like to engage in it. I stood for fifteen minutes in a tank station when a woman approached me. She had stopped with her husband to get some gasoil for the car they were driving.
“Hey, Can I ask where you want to go?”
“Yes! I want to go to England, so my plan is to cross Denmark and get on a boat if I reach the sea.”
 I had a sign saying West.

That day i was introduced into Destortion. A festival , a huge big ass festival of 3 or 4 days partying. The people in Copenhagen were crazy, and i mean real crazy









like really really crazy. wheel chairs in the air, legs in the air, everything in the air. why not. With Meads( the father of tess) we went walking for hours and hours throught the croud untill we were in a really good vegetarian place and a beerbar.