Sketches of words

 Openstellen voor omstandigheden. Het is gemakkelijk dat je niet zoveel moeilijke beslissingen hoeft te nemen, die kun je dan zichzelf laten nemen. 

I see a white light escaping. It spins around and out of control. It is a guide light glowing. It is bright and burns if you are too close. I see a woman who spins her hair with liquid gold. She strokes her hairline gently with a few fingers because she is impressed by the way attraction shapes her story. A band is playing in the streets, a fire lurking and the song tells a mystery. 

I didn' see the signs

I receive so much love from my family that i try to give it to my lover.

Daar gaan we weer, met alles op ons pad. We scheppen de dagen zoals we zand scheppen. We beklimmen de horizontale rotsen zoals we ooit de woestijn doorkruisten. Op zoek naar een fata morgana die niet bestaat. En dansend vanbinnen vertrekken we. En dansend vanbinnen komen we aan. 

Nu voel ik me aangetrokken om hem te kussen want hij straalt meisjes energie uit. Hij is geduldig, onschuldig, open en empatisch.

On the canvas of dissapearance i see footsteps, fading as they should. I see people witnissing the mist of time, dinnerparties at restaurants. A few has sheltered but knowledge seeped away from the memory of this institute. 

- abruptly did my limb reverberate. Schocked was my mind by the retraction that seemed to have no reason. Just another day. Just another mindless act.

Break as many possible traffic rules and stil stay cool

A new constellation of words. Decided to allow themselves to be free. You know, i am a small person but i have the power to express myself.

Take what you have gathered from coincidence 

Most of them, they want to drink titty milk for the rest of their lives. 

Include yourself, with all your characters and they will stand neutral in the detached whole. They stand neutral while the whole world spins. It is the mind who has a relationship with everything , that's why it is at peace with any outcome. It lets the heart speak and has a relationship with the feelings and emotions that are always there. 

When an oppurtunity arises, choose your best friend, always

It is love to not change the person and not change yourself. 

I was confused. I didn't know how to act but she just wanted me to listen, no reaction needed.

Er was een gerommel in de keuken. De grootmoeder deed haar nachtlampje aan. We kunnen haar gelaatsuitdrukking zien. Het is niet verbaasd. Ze denkt dat het de kat weer is en dat ze de buitendeur niet heeft gesloten. Maar ze is niet blij, het is een gezicht dat verbeten terug kijkt naar het verleden. Ze gebruikt haar armen om uit bed te gaan en in haar rolstoel die naast het bed staat. Ze rolt naar de trap en ze klikt haar rolstoel in een lift die haar naar beneden brengt. Het is nu duidelijk dat zij haar benen niet kan gebruiken. Aangekomen in de keuken klikt ze het licht aan om de ravage in te schatten. Er liggen potten en pannen op de grond en er is gegeten op het grote keukenblad. De grootmoeder was kok geweest en haar keuken was heel professioneel. Ze ruimt de pannen op. Haar rolstoel kan van hoogte veranderen. En ze veegt het keukenblad schoon van kruimels en etensresten. Daarna gaat ze naar de achterdeur en het is inderdaad open. Ze bereidt zich voor om het te sluiten maar net als ze de achterdeur nadert ziet ze iets. Ze doet de achtertuinlichten aan en als licht valt wordt het ruimteschip zichtbaar. Ze reageert omverschillig en na een tijdje staren doet ze de lichten weer uit en sluit de deur achter haar wanneer ze binnen is.

House of dreams

 In the house of dreams, the tissue of humanity desintegrated. 

We got lost in the change of time. Humankind always weaved storylines. But now, the resignation commenced. 

Fairytales come out of their hiding places as they see investments evaporate. The stakes are too high. Speech struggles to survive due to a malfunction in its right to be free. There are just too many variables. The science doesn't work, the ends are not met and therefore the establishment of men washes itself in the river after sundown and cleares itself from the shame and guilt that represents the neglection: Fairytales come out of hiding and protest against the strains that stress made.

 The focus was to establish humanity, to create a world of possibilities and strive for maintenance; if something was broken we would fix it. We would endure the process of rebuilding and teach our children that everything was possible and slowly and surely we integrated pride into ourselves. We became self aware. 

We began to focus on our bodies and instigate rules to preserve the honed liberties. If there was a confusion, even the slightest ripple would be examined. We began to represent our own dreams and know how to defend them when all seems lost. It is an exploration. One that aligns love to sit comfortably in all the aspects of movement. 

 We feel that the history of darkness finally has a chance to penetrate the break of day and heal itself in the combination of sun and rain. But there is still something missing: The urgency to integrate the aristocracy of our love with the plain reality of our minds ; to focus on the Devine harmony of memory has met complacent behavior. The surface of our mundane life has become our main distraction and it has made us puppets of our own personal desires. 

 There is abundance, there is choice, there is possibility and there is reason that allows us to define who we are. So why should we shake the surface and loose all what we invested in; the so called urge to maintain our identity and all of its trivial safety. 

 It is the mind who wants to control everything, it wants to hold on to the veil of righteousness. identities clash and it is not our task to question why we are spending time together because those questions can bring downfall to the transaction of what we have; we are on the verge of discovering something more personal. The greatest sign of bravery is when we rip the tissue from the storyline and become the storyteller. 

 When the mind melts with the heart and a symbiosis takes place. 

 Should we not choose a world where every aspect of human design lingers before it speaks and creates harmony with the visual mastery that knows just in which flow the flowers will grow. A world where we break consumption, replace it with fairytales where love appears and the council of every city dances every night on the street. 

Where climbing a ladder has the same value as holding on to your dearest wife. 

Where, what you want is reflected in what other people don't want. Humanity had no right to distinguish love from love, to seperate mindsets and instigate confusion, racial difference, borders and pride. It had no right to not connect because the world is one big organism from which we are the fragments; 

when we let go of all difference we maybe can feel the alikeness, the strange unity of our different desires, that resembles one heart that beats under the surface of our scattered identities. As if there is only one personality who has only one priority: to break away from the mind and become one heartbeat again. 

 Our own dreams fell apart on the hinges of our make belief world. Everything collapsed and we found ourselves wondering why. 

 Everything has its price, and if you use the magic of love without paying, than reality can find a clever way to indulge us, to punish us for our inflated sense of selfworth.
This life is all about penetrating the surface and indulge in the richness, bountfullness, the ever wholesome, the ever present source of courage and festivity within you without inflicting shame, grief or spacious need to the people around you, in the soil where we plant feet. For the ground is too precious,the sky too beautiful to drag our hearts through misery.  And we reach, slightly towards prosperity as we find a goal that serves us whole.

As I guard my own values, i will find confidence in the realities that see me move through them.

Dawson creek

 The inevitable linger between dream and reality, honesty and big words. 

Dawson creak is a series who follows Dawson and his best friend Joey. Two friends who are spending their nights together in the bedroom of Dawson for 10 years, untill Joey feels that the attraction she has for him becomes romantic. 

This is how the series start and it was easy for me to be a fan of their story for they use big words and philosophy to enter into a world of day dreams. 

Dawson is oblivious that Joey has feelings for him that have the potential to make all of his dreams coms true. And may i say, the dream of many who watch. 

But finally, dawson is awakend at the end of the first season and there it is where i will begin my poetic reflections

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 The kiss at the end of the first season proclaims the duality of safety. It shines a light on the passion that must break ice but then retaliate in a loving manner to celebrate the silken honor that refuses to blend totally and thereby forget: just because we got what we wanted doesnt mean that we can bluntly take it for granted without some repercussion of losing it again.  The dreamer is confronted with his tendency to belief in the low self esteem that is never going to change and the realist gets confronted by her fear of rejection. She believes the whole world of love and magic is oblivious to her existence because her logical side is too faithful to matter to let her be a part of the creative imaginary world. Believing that the creative imaginary world would feel as there was an outcast in their midst.

The dreamer had to wake up from his fancy idea that he is such a good guy, not ruled by any impulses that laid waste to love. Choosing to please the audience instead of the love. Choosing big words instead of honest acts of reppurcussion because he does not want to shake the tree where he might actually share the silence where his desires are maybe heard.

Feeling ashamed to admit where his dreams really believe in. What they actually want to say. The girl gives him space, in secret hope, that allows him maybe to wake up from his day dream and see her, become her and throw caution overboard to trust on the 'obvious'. 

Of course the girl doesnt make it easy for the dreamer but as we live in a material world, i think she did a perfect job of not giving in to the illusive dream and standing her ground, demanding almost a full change in the dreamer in order to see if she could trust him.

It truly reminds me of my predicement at this moment. I, as a dreamer and a vast believer in magic doesnt want to tie myself to grand gestures. I am very afraid to be too upfront and seen as rude because i have a reputation of patience to uphold. But sometimes a person is to act on these grand gestures, if able. You dont want to do it when you break someone elses heart by doing so. You should not replace or act as if you are the solution for someone. 

It is only acceptable if you do it out of the neccesity of having no other choice. If your body gets sick because you dont express. And then all the tidalwaves that come afterwards with all of their complaints and dramatic scenario's will not have any better right or claim to justify their actions than you. 

We must, in all times, feel global happiness. So let the waves of emotions pass by, let the retaliations, the desire, the passion all eb away in the silence of patience and when your body feels that it wants or needs to say or do something after all the drama, then we will find that 'something' can be quite the powerful binder of difference. Than we might say that it is quite easy to have simplicity, no matter how complicated we choose to make our lives. 

In the second season, first episode, after the kiss, the dreamer is afraid of leaving his mind behind him and the girl is thrown again in the rigid unsecurity of her own heart.

A clash is formed and we desperatly hope that the bond of friendship can cross this ridge of playing new roles. Fortunaly the dreamer seems to trust his new achieved mind. 

"Your morning glow is highly suspicious" 

The innocent victory. The warm feeling that you yourself has beaten all odds and has been accepted in the light of all what is good. 

"Lets not abandon all sense of reality here" 

The dreamer stumbles over his words to try to let his mind catch up with his heart. But the heart is gone in the silken softness of gòodness and the mind can only surrender. 

"The second kiss. The rational one, the one that required thought"

Is the magic real? Did she really wanted to kiss me? What shall become of me? Can i trust him?